I’ve been an asshole—plenty. Picture me, 29, post-NSW chaos, snarling at my sister because she dared ask how I was holding up after a rough recovery stretch. Snapped like a dick, stormed off, then sat there wondering why everyone around me was “the problem.” Took a hard look in the mirror—literally, mid-hangover—and realized: how much of this shit is me? Turns out, a fuck-ton. Treating people better isn’t about kissing ass; it’s about owning your crap and zipping it when you’re itching to spew venom. This ain’t some preachy “love thy neighbor” sermon—it’s raw talk from a guy who’s been a jerk and learned the hard way. If you’re pissing people off left and right, let’s laugh at the mess and figure out how to suck less at this human thing.
1. Face the Mirror (Yeah, You’re Part of It)
First step’s brutal: ask, “How much of the problem is me?” I dodged this forever—blamed teammates for ops gone sideways, my ex for every fight, even the damn dog for my bad days. Then, post-injury, I chewed out a buddy for canceling plans, only to find out he’d been in a car wreck. Felt like a prick because I was one. Truth hit: I was the common denominator in a lot of my shitstorms.
Grab a sec—alone, no bullshit—and run the tape. Last fight with your girl? Did you escalate? Friend ghosted you? Were you a dick first? It’s not all you, but it’s never none of you. Owning that slice doesn’t feel good—it feels real. And real’s where you start fixing shit.
2. Shut Your Damn Mouth (Words Are Grenades)
I’ve got a mouth that runs like a runaway truck—deployed, I’d rip into anyone who crossed me, thinking it made me tough. Spoiler: it just made me lonely. Learned the hard way during recovery: hobbling into PT, pissed at the world, I nearly unloaded on a nurse who didn’t deserve it. Bit my tongue instead—turns out she was having a worse day than me.
Silence is power. Feel the rant bubbling? Swallow it. That “you’re an idiot” jab? Let it die. Doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’re smart enough to not torch bridges. If talking’s your default, try this: count to five before you spew. Half the time, you won’t even want to anymore.
3. Ditch the Ego (It’s a Lousy Copilot)
Ego’s a bastard—I used to strut around like every room owed me a salute. Fucked me over when I barked at a SOF teammate over some petty gear mix-up, only to realize I’d grabbed the wrong kit. Could’ve owned it; doubled down instead. Lost respect I didn’t need to lose.
Check yourself: are you snapping to “win” or to be right? Ego screams “me first”—kick it to the curb. Next time you’re bristling, ask: “Is this about them, or my fragile ass?” Less chest-puffing, more listening—people don’t hate that version of you.
4. See Their Side (Even If It’s Dumb)
I suck at this—still do sometimes. Used to think everyone’s angle was bullshit unless it matched mine. Then, mid-deployment, I ragged on a guy for lagging on a run—turns out he’d pulled a muscle and didn’t wanna bitch. Felt like an ass when I heard. Trying their lens on doesn’t mean you agree—it means you get why they’re not just “wrong.”
Pause before you judge. Mate’s late? Maybe traffic sucked. Boss is a dick? Maybe he’s stressed. You don’t have to hug it out—just see it. Why’s this beat staying blind? Cuts the tension, and you’re less of a prick by default.
5. Do One Decent Thing (Small’s Fine)
Treating people better isn’t grand gestures—I’m not buying roses for strangers. It’s tiny moves. Post-recovery, I’d been a grouch to my neighbor—grunted at his “hey”s like a caveman. One day, I said “fuck it,” tossed him a beer over the fence. Didn’t fix world peace, but he stopped dodging me.
Pick a person, do a thing: hold a door, say thanks, don’t flip off the slow driver. Doesn’t need to be epic—just not shitty. If grand’s your style, cool—beats nothing. Point is, action shifts you from asshole to human.
6. Quit Keeping Score (It’s Exhausting)
I used to tally every slight— “He didn’t text back, fuck him,” or “She owes me an apology.” Dragged me down like a lead vest. Post-NSW, I’d stew over a teammate who didn’t check in after my injury—until I realized I hadn’t either. Dropped the ledger, felt lighter.
Let shit slide. They forgot your birthday? Oh well. You don’t need a tit-for-tat war—success isn’t a scoreboard. If grudges are your jam, try this: skip one. See if the world ends. Spoiler: it won’t, and you’ll treat ’em better without trying.
7. Laugh at Yourself (You’re a Mess Too)
Nothing disarms a dick move like owning it with a grin. I once snapped at a barista for a slow coffee—mid-rant, realized I’d ordered the wrong thing. Laughed, said, “Shit, I’m the idiot here,” and tipped her double. Tension gone, day saved.
You’re gonna fuck up—mock it. Trip over your words? “Graceful as fuck, me.” Bark at the wrong person? “Gold star for asshole of the day.” Humor’s a reset button—people vibe with the guy who doesn’t take himself too serious.
Conclusion
Treating people better’s no sainthood—it’s a gritty choice to not be the problem all the damn time. Internal shift: look at your shit, lose the ego, zip it. External move: do a decent thing, drop the grudges, laugh it off. I’m still a half-baked prick some days, but this keeps me from torching every bridge. You don’t need to be everyone’s hero—just quit being their villain, you beautiful disaster. Small steps, big change—go for it.
Fun Fact
Fun fact: They say 70% of conflict’s just miscommunication—turns out the other 30%’s me being a dick. Shut up and sort it, works every time.
Call to Action
How do you stop being the asshole in the room—or at least try? Drop it below—your “oh shit, it’s me” moments, your wins, your chaos. If zipping it doesn’t cut it, try a quick “sorry”—same vibe, different angle. Let’s keep this human gig rolling.
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